Real Women Fear

Real Women what??? Yes. Fear. Women are known from being strong, being able to multi-task...hold 3 kids, cook dinner, change the laundry, and hold 2 conversations at once, while answering the door to give the neighbor a cup of sugar, right? But let's be real... we also fear. I sat in the waiting room of my OB/GYN this week. I had cried half of the way there. I was scared. My husband and I have been trying to conceive for a year with no success. I know not to fear. I know God has a plan...but really?? In the midst of trials and troubles it is a fight to maintain that belief! I had just started my period that morning, so it was a day of stress already. I do not consume myself with getting pregnant. In fact, I enjoy life the way it is. I am busy and focused and driven. But I am not fearless. What if I can never have children? The thought races through my mind at times, quickly fleeing on command. So, anyway I was sad. I walked into the office and it felt as though everyone around me had a belly as big as my butt! I was happy for them, and wondered, "Do they know how blessed they are?" I sat down, and read opened my Bible praying for God to comfort me. And it was only seconds until I saw Psalm 138:8 "The Lord will fulfill his purpose for me, your love, O Lord, endures forever- do not abandon the works of your hands." The answer was right in front of me. He has a purpose that will be fulfilled. He will not abandon me! I felt instantly encouraged- a phenomenon that happens through the Living Word. Ahhh... I could sigh a deep sigh of relief! I was called back to the examining room. The night before, I had asked all of those wonderful women I spoke of in the previous post- to pray for me. They are faithful prayer warriors, and so I was sure I was covered in prayer! As usual, there was time for me to sit still in my open back gown, and just pray. I prayed and prayed. Finally the door creaked. "It's just me, the nurse!" she called. "Your doctor just got called to deliver a baby. Would you mind seeing the nurse practitioner- she's very experienced and can answer all of your questions!" I replied with a cheerful, "Sure!" I was excited. God had intervened!!! I knew this was for a reason. The nurse told me it was unusual that the doctor wasn't called earlier. It was her first and only call of the day. God has perfect timing. The nurse practioner arrived with a loud, boisterous voice. "Hi! I'm Joy!" she seeming shouted. God has a sense of humor too! I was depressed...so he brought me "Joy." I was so taken back by her forward presence, that my anxieties subsided immediately. She reassured me that everything was okay... that I need to have intercourse with my husband on the right day. "Call me when your pregnant!" she exclaimed on her way out the door!

God is so good. I went from a depressed, crying hysteria to interference from God. He revealed himself to me. Psalm 139:7 says "Where can I go from your Spirit?" I felt so far from God. But at the very moment I went to his word, and sat quietly, I heard Him. He spoke to me. He comforted me and brought me "joy" along with great encouragement.

When I begin to doubt. I will clearly remember this day. I will remember that God doesn't leave. His purpose will be fulfilled. He wanted to show me encouragement and reveal himself to me! Are you allowing God to reveal himself to you? Are you quietly waiting and praying? Are you opening up the Living Word- The Bible? He is with you, just as He was with me. What an awesome God!