Huh!?!?!

Did you ever have a "Huh?!?!?!" moment went reading the Bible? I did today, and I'm just going to share some brainstorming with you...

God has been speaking to me not only about obedience but also reverence for him and I think that this is where it's going...

I have been reading from 1 Samuel. 1 Samuel 1 & 2 told about Elkanah and Hannah. Hannah's womb was barren. When she promised God that she would give her child to Him, she conceived Samuel. She gave him to the Lord and she was blessed with more children. Samuel was given to the Lord and left at Shiloh at the tabernacle where Eli was the priest. Eli's sons did wicked things, the Bible says that they had no regard for the Lord. And the Lord said to Eli (through a man) , "Why do you honor your sons more than me?"

Eventually, God speaks to Eli and tells him that judgement for their sin is coming. When Samuel tells Eli, Eli says, "He is the Lord, let Him do what is good in His eyes." (v. 18)

Huh?!?! I have many questions here...
But I'm just going to journal about 1...
I find it interesting that God doesn't have mercy on him. In scripture it says that only not honoring and revering the Lord is unforgivable...
Eli didn't honor the Lord all that time, and even when God warns him through the man and Samuel's message, we don't see any repentance.
But...when God tells Eli that judgement is coming, he submits!

Hmmm...
I have spent much time reflecting on this, and I believe I will continue to reflect on this, but I guess I'm asking God to do this-

Show me where I am not honoring you with my life, and make me see it- really see it!

Make me repentant!

Make me submissive to you before I sin.

Here's my burden:
Am I accepting God's anger, his jealousy, his tests and trials and missing the part of my heart that he's after!?!?! Has he revealed sin to me, and I'm so caught up in my own life, that I'm missing what God's revealing and asking me to repent of?

I remember one time when my former brother-in-law fell out of a( I think a 3rd story) window. He miraculously landed in a dumpster heaped with cardboard protecting him and leaving with just a few small scratches. His mother's response? "Don't make God try to get your attention again!"

And that is my prayer,

Lord,
Help me not to be so caught up in this life, that I miss what you're revealing to me. Never allow me to forget that you are almighty and powerful and that you are my first love. Never allow me to put my marriage, ministry, or fertility above you, but I want to honor you above ALL things!
Forgive me Lord for the areas where I am fallen!
In Jesus' name.
Amen.